Christmas… Can Be A Trauma Anniversary

Trauma anniversaries can evoke a wide range of emotions, which may vary greatly from person to person. These emotional responses often stem from the body's and mind's memory of the traumatic event. Common feelings or experiences can manifest themselves as a sense of mourning for what was lost or the pain endured during the trauma. For many the date or time of year may trigger heightened vigilance, nervousness, or unease, even if there is no immediate danger. Feelings of frustration or anger, sometimes directed inward or outward, as the memory of the trauma resurfaces.These can include fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, or other signs of stress. Some people may avoid certain places, people, or activities that remind them of the event and sights, sounds, smells, or other sensory cues associated with the trauma may feel more vivid or intense. Unwanted memories or vivid reliving of the trauma might occur, making it feel as if the event is happening again, this is normal. Especially if the trauma involved complex dynamics and survivors might grapple with feelings of self-blame. On the other hand, some individuals use trauma anniversaries as a moment for personal reflection, healing, and recognising their growth since the event. Recognising that the anniversary is approaching and understanding its potential impact on you and significant others can help reduce the element of surprise. We always recommend that veterans engage in activities that soothe and nourish the mind and body. Limit exposure to triggers or people who may not be supportive during this time. Use grounding exercises, breathing techniques, or other coping mechanisms to get by and remember it's important to be kind to yourself during this time and seek professional support if the emotions feel overwhelming. Trauma anniversaries are a reminder of the impact of past experiences, but they can also be an opportunity for continued healing and self-compassion.

Dates associated with traumatic events, especially those tied to significant occasions like holidays, can carry an even heavier emotional weight. When a traumatic event coincides with a culturally or personally significant day—such as Christmas—it can amplify the emotional impact because holidays often come with societal or cultural expectations of joy, togetherness, and celebration. Experiencing grief or distress during these times can feel isolating or incongruent with the surrounding atmosphere. Each year, the date serves as a stark reminder of the loss or trauma, potentially reopening emotional wounds. For events tied to loved ones' deaths, there may be a dual grief—missing the person and mourning the joyful associations of the holiday. Holiday-specific sights, sounds, smells, or traditions may act as triggers, bringing back memories of the event or person.The desire to honour the memory of the person or cope with the trauma may conflict with the need to engage in new, joyful activities. It’s okay to feel sadness, anger, or grief during a time when others may be celebrating. Talking with someone you trust about your feelings can help you process them. It can be helpful to openly acknowledge that the person is missed, either privately or with close family and friends. If certain traditions feel too painful, consider adjusting or replacing them with new ones that are more comfortable. Limit interactions with people or events that feel draining, and give yourself permission to say no. While grief may dominate, reflecting on moments of gratitude or the legacy of the loved one can provide solace. Stay present by practicing mindfulness techniques or grounding exercises to reduce anxiety. While the pain may not completely go away, over time, you may find a way to navigate the trauma in a way that feels meaningful and manageable. Remember, healing is not linear, and it’s okay to seek help or adjust your coping mechanisms as needed.

Tony Wright CEO Forward Assist